How Did I Get Here?

How Did I Get Here?
Well, it wasn't by chance!
And What Keeps Me Here?
An Intentional Trap!

Confirming Your Value - Your Worth - Through Sex

Many men believe they have to do 'something' in order to prove to themselves and others, that they have value. If your parents didn't confirm your value when you were a child, you likely lack the capacity to self-confirm your own worth as an adult. In an effort to try to confirm your worth, you use other people sexually, repeatedly, but it doesn't work because your value never did depend on 'doing' but on 'being' - being a person of integrity (character).

Sven Erlandson comments on this important principle. Sven's website is: https://www.badasscounseling.com/links

All human beings have an inbuilt need to know and believe that they have non-changing, unquestionably high value;
Being highly valued unconditionally - just for existing - is the gift of the seed of mental sanity. This kind of love-based value is completely opposed to being valued for 'doing things.'
Being valued for existing as a child in the family - is the core, basic, truth that forms the foundation of the child's character development and this belief builds in the child's mind pre-birth;
Being valued for 'doing things' is not being valued as a person. It is manipulation. Only the 'works' are valued - not the person who does the works. The person who does the works can be replaced, but a loved child can never be replaced.
If a person's value is based on their 'works' it is only a conditional value that has been given.
Manipulation is conditional and transactional. "I will 'love' you as long as you provide me with a big house, a fancy car, nice clothes etc." If you fail to provide me with those things (conditions) then I will abandon you and get someone else to supply me with those items. " This is the same principle as prostitution. If you pay the money, I'll let you masturbate using my body. If you don't pay the money, I'll find someone else who does pay me and he can use my body;"
Manipulation promises that value can be 'earned' based on doings which in religious terminology is called 'the works gospel.' The Creator does not love us based on our works or doings and neither do loving parents. We are valued because we exist as a child born into a loving family;
Loving parents instinctively understand that it is imperative to convince their children that they are of infinite value to them, regardless of what they do - great positive things or sad mistakes. While parents might take strong actions to discourage negative behaviour, their love doesn't stop based on the child's works or doings; (eg The serial murderer Ted Bundy was sentenced to death for the horrific crimes he committed against many women. Right up to the time of his execution, Ted Bundy's mother reassured her son that she loved him. Her heart was breaking for the horrorifying crimes her son committed, but the mother still wanted only the best for her son. Love doesn't dry up but continues despite having a hatred for any negative works/actions).
The lesson of being loved - being valued - will be taught repeatedly by loving parents, many times every day.
The truth of the child's value will be so thoroughly demonstrated by the parents that the child trusts in that truth. The child completely believes the truth, is completely convinced of that truth and would never doubt that it is the truth, despite any other people who later might try to deny it.

The core need to be valued determines the character that children develop.

The gift of being valued is supposed to be received from parents but if it's not received, it sets up the child to have to ask others to try to convince them that they have value;
A male who has been sexually abused as a child, often seeks out females to tell him he has value. The need to be told he has value was not received from his parents so the 'black hole of emptiness' in his heart drives him to have many sexual relationships, searching for the female who will supply him with constant reassurance of his value;
Convincing the man he has value is impossible for any female, because he refuses to believe it - regardless of how many females assure him that it's true;
If the woman that he is in a relationship with at the time, expresses that she has needs too, her fragile male partner will interpret her needs as being criticism of him - which he also interprets as his partner saying she doesn't find him valuable anymore; that he lacks value in certain areas; that she might be preparing to abandon him for a 'better value man.'
The male who is seeking to be convinced of his value might pressure a female to ‘prove’ to him that she thinks he has value by consenting to commit a sexual act with him; (this is in reality, the male's attempt to achieve security in the 'transaction') If the female consents to have sexual activity, then the male often incorrectly believe that the female 'is now secured,' emotionally bonded and that she will not abandon him
Abandonment is terrifying because if she abandons him, he will have to accept her updated opinion about him - that he no longer has value and that he has been devalued;
The male who refuses to comprehend his own value is vulnerable to being manipulated by a narcissistic-type female who chooses to have sex in order to demand 'things' from the male, but does not stay with him because she genuinely cares about him, because she absolutely does not care; (she only values what she can receive from the 'relationship').
The male is not aware that he has any other needs because he can't focus on other needs while his 'value' need is still controlling his thoughts and dictating his behaviour in romantic relationships;
The female tells him he has value and for the hypersexualised male, she provides a sexual outlet;
The man must meet all the woman’s demands in order to prevent her from abandoning him and withdrawing her powerful opinion of his value;
The sad situation leaves the male vulnerable to being manipulated by females;
The obvious solution is for the male to believe the truth that he has value and he does not need anyone else to confirm that he has value.

Value is allocated by our loving Creator and it is entirely unrelated to our ‘works.’

Here's How You Might Have Arrived Here
A Deliberate Strategy
That Took Advantage of Your Unmet Needs & Abuse

Adam Lane-Smith describes the neurotransmitters and hormones that impact avoidantly attached men. they are mostly deficient in oxytocin, serotonin, vassopressin and are left to cope with only dopamine and cortisol. Oxytocin and serotonin are necessary to form stable, lovingly reciprocal relationships, but these neurotransmitters and hormones are not available to the avoidant man because he avoids the very situations that would cause those substances to be created in his brain and gut. The bright light at the end of the dark tunnel however is that this situation can be reversed.

An avoidantly attached man is at higher risk of becoming a victim of porn addiction because of the lack of emotionally, intimately connected relationships. That is the specific condition that the porn merchants target as consumers of their vile product. Porn is the publicised abuse of emotionally injured men and women, cleverly paraded as 'normal, human sexual behaviour.' The following video, featuring Dr Judith Reisman lays out the truth about the porn industry's foundations of sexual abuse.

After watching the video above, the Kinsey Syndrome, it seems clear that men and women have been set up to believe that the condition of hypersexuality is normal human sexual behaviour. This is however, not true! Instead we find that males have been specifically targeted to become addicted to porn, while females have been groomed to believe that their role is and that their value lies in their 'ability' to sexually arouse a man i.e. to be a sexual prop for males to play with or use. Nowdays, the porn merchants and their commercial backers) are targetting females also with the predictable result that women too are becoming addicted to porn. Current scientific data emphatically connects lessons in porn during childhood as being traumatic and grasped more strongly by those who were denied affection, love and comfort as children. Some males who were rejected or abandoned by their mothers as children, project their desire to be accepted and valued onto porn performers and as such this attraction can be seen as a desperate attempt to fill the emotional void created by being unloved or unvalued.

The Hypersexual Person
You were most probably a person who was emotionally wounded from an unhappy childhood or other emotional trauma that left you feeling unwanted, unloved and worthless.

You were then groomed and manipulated and placed precisely where the porn pushers planned you to be, so you could play your 'role' so they could make money from your pain. If you can be addicted to their product, you become a dependable, long-term cutomer. Just as people addicted to substances such as alcohol or illicit drugs become slaves to their drug-pushers, you become a slave to the porn merchants. You are a perpetual source of income to the porn merchants, just like a drug addict is a slave to their dealer/pusher. Also, like other addicts, you become controllable and predictable. When your emotional needs are anchored onto sexual abuse, you are controllable and predictable. Feeling sexually irritated 24/7 can be something to get angry about. Many men hate themselves for what they consider to be their 'high' sex drive, the shame and guilt that they feel for being 'weak' in regards to their sexual behaviour. Many men are also angry at females who they believe are 'teasing' them by choosing to wear provocative clothing, seemingly on purpose to sexually arouse them. A whole lot of porn is created with the theme of punishing women - for withholding sex, for teasing, for having power over men etc. A hypersexualised man is not a happy man because his neurotransmitters are unbalanced. His dopamine receptors are not behaving normally and this causes his frequent desires for sexual release. Sadly, he doesn't understand this process and he believes he suffers from 'a high sex drive' or 'high libido,' and so he often blames his partner for not meeting his abnormally high sexual needs. He begins to have issues getting and maintaining an erection with his partner and he blames her for causing this problem for him too. He often tells his partner that she is not arouising to him anymore and that they need to try 'new' sexual activities to 'spice up' their sexual experiences. The partner gets the blame for the failed sexual relationship, when in reality, it is the porn that should be blamed. The truth is that the man does not possess a high sex drive and nor does he have a high libido that is tormenting him; it's his unbalanced neurotransmitters that occurs from viewing porn that caused his hypersexualisation. It is the fact that he has anchored his sexual response to pixels on a screen that causes him to become impotent with his partner. His porn addiction and sexual failture has zero - zip - nothing whatsoever to do with his partner's attractiveness or behaviour.

It's not an addicted man's fault that he didn't understand the process that caused him to become hypersexualised. It's not his fault that he didn't realise he was hypersexualised by porn. This man needs to know that he can truly be free from hypersexual urges very soon. With a true understanding of what's actually happened to his brain, he takes the first step to real freedom. He can form new thought pattens and he will be able to see porn for the sexual abuse that it truly is. He like many other men, will grow to hate porn and be revolted at the thought of sexually abusing people. If this is you, please know that you can progress to where you can forgive yourself for being vulnerable, needy and deceived in your search for emotional comfort.

Early exposure to pornography: a form of sexual trauma

Porn is a product that is specifically designed to ensnare - victimise and trap sexually-injured children/adults. Porn hones in on emotionally injured people who are seeking to fill their unmet childhood needs for affection, appreciation and who are searching for a someone apart from themselves, to assure them that they have value. Porn merchants appeal to those injured people who have unmet needs and deliver false promises that can never be fulfilled by sexually abusing strangers - strip clubs, prostitutes, hook-ups, masturbating to porn. Porn takes the vulnerable victims hostage as the porn actresses pretend to sexually desire the emotionally desperate viewer. The viewer is vulnerable. He wants to be desired, wanted, validated and needed. He has already had his sexuality anchored to adrenaline, so the rush of adrenaline is perceived as being a sexual response, not a fear/warning response. As the viewer enjoys the sexual release from viewing the porn, he seeks the same relief again and again. The huge surge in adrenaline and dopamine cement the addiction process. Porn was not invented for human enjoyment. It was created to be addictive, to ensure the 'audience' returns repeatedly - just like a drug pusher who needs his drug to be highly addictive.

Porn is not just on websites; it's on the beach, in shopping centres, walking past you in the street, in movies, on TV and even in church. Western societies are saturated with porn to the point that young people believe that porn is a 'normal' part of healthy, human sexuality. Porn is not normal and it's not healthy sexuality. Porn is insidious, designed to take financial and emotional advantage of sexual abuse victims. It's designed so that it breaks up emotionally rewarding loving relationships - and it does it extremely well as it was reported that 60% of all divorces cite porn as a major factor in the breakdown of the relationship. https://www.affordablefamilylawyer.com/divorce-and-porn-addiction/

Emotional Injuries

Young children who are sexually abused will respond primarily in two different ways depending on if the sexual abuse was considered to be either positive or negative experiences. Positive responses include feeling physical comfort/sexual pleasure and emotionally exciting (adrenaline) sensations. Negative responses include feeling physical painful or non-pleasurable and emotionally shocking/fearful (adrenaline) sensations.

Confusion is predictable because of the cognitive dissonance that is created when the body feels a positive response (sexual arousal), but the mind has a negative response (fear/guilt). eg when a mother sexually abuses her son, his body might react with sexual arousal but his mind is shocked because he knows that it is wrong for his mother to touch him sexually. This mixed response often sets the child up to seek experiences that increase adrenaline - an adrenaline junkie - and often to anchor sexual arousal to adrenaline-producing, risk-taking, dangerous sexual behaviours. This is not a normal, sexual response to danger.

The sexual arousal response of sexually-injured men and women has been conditioned by high adrenaline stimuli and anchored to 'illegal/wrong' sexual encounters. The science validates that sexual arousal can be artificially conditioned. Researcher Jim Pfaus sprayed sexually receptive female rats with cadaverine (odor of decaying flesh) and placed them in cages with young virgin males. Normally rats avoid decaying flesh. It’s innate; it’s not a learned behavior. The male rats became sexually aroused by the smell of dead cadavers to the point where they preferred to only mate with partners that were sprayed with the smell of decaying flesh. https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ybop-articles-on-porn-addiction-porn-induced-problems/sexuality-and-the-brain/first-sex-just-the-science-please-2013/

Our sexual arousal system is precious but malleable. We need to protect it from deliberate malipulation.

Emotional Deprivation in Childhood (videos)

What Keeps Me Here?

Porn and Divorce - Dr Jill Manning - Report to US Senate 2005

Porn & Divorce - Dr Jennifer Schneider - Survey Results

Porn supplies endless opportunities designed to specifically victimise people whose sexual response has been modified by sexual abuse. Dangerous, risk-taking, high-adrenaline sexualised activities are disguised as being 'sex' when in reality, that behaviour is nothing like healthy sex. Healthy sex is deep emotional communication in the safe, secure environment of a mutually loving, sexually-exclusive relationship. This is the way that human beings find sexual activity to be deeply, physically and emotionally satisfying. Adrenaline can't provide the satisfaction that love provides because selfishness can't compete with love. Selfish sexuality is in reality sexual abuse. There is no doubt that porn promotes adrenaline-stimulating, sexual selfishness - sexual abuse.

Because of the excessive amounts of adrenaline, endorphins and dopamine that process addicts experience, changes occur in the porn viewer's brain which causes an impotence response when a viewer tries to have sexual activity with a real-life partner. Thankfully this injury can be reversed but not without correct knowledge/understanding of the disorder, meeting emotional needs in healthy ways, adapting the thought processes, and applying behavioural changes.

Children are easy prey for the porn merchants, especially emotionally neglected and abused children who have searing attachment injuries.

Infant humans are born with an instinct to emotionally bond with their parents. The adult who chooses to bond with the infant takes on the responsibility to care for and to provide all of that infant's needs, both physical and emotional. This infant desire to bond to an adult is normal and healthy. The infant needs to know that he'/she is very important to the adult on whom he/she is entirely dependent for survival. The bonded adult gives the infant constant signals that the infant is of incredible value. The adult has total control over the infant's internal feeling of value.

If the infant has value to the adult, the bonded adult will meet the infant's needs as soon as possible. The bonded adult will prioritise the infant's needs. The bonded adult and will interrupt his/her schedule to provide for the infant's needs and will delay fulfilment of his/her own needs until after the infant's needs are met. The bonded adult will smile and find joy in meeting the infant's needs even if those tasks are unpleasant (changing a nappy/diaper). The bonded adult gives joyful attention, verbal compliments, prolonged eye contact and gentle physical contact (hugs, holding) to the infant. These actions and mental attitude communicate to the infant that in they eyes of the parent/carer, that infant has great value. These behaviours create what is known as a secure attachment bond. When the child grows up feeling valued/loved, the child will develop an internal concept of self-worth; knowledge that he/she has value just because they exist. Their value is not dependent on their 'good works' ie if they get 'straight As' on their report card or if they gain entry to a prestigious university. The growing adolescent doesn't require input from others to feel valued because his/her internal setting is already firmly registered as valued. The situation is vastly different however, for the adolescent who has not had the benefit of growing up in a home with at least one loving parent. An infant that is deprived of loving attention learns that he/she does not have value to their parent/care-giver. If infants do not receive any positive emotional bonding they display well known behaviours of emotional insecurity and distress and experiments done on on children in orphanages reveal that infants who are subjected to a severe lack of bonding can actually die.

Many adults continue searching for the nurturing love they were deprived of in childhood, by demonstrated by their involvement in numerous romantic relationships in life.

An emotionally deprived child may prioritize social contact, which could be motivated by the child's intense desire to find a maternal substitute.

The Interpersonal Neurobiology of Addiction is a video https://youtu.be/ypNLGG8tWLY (Youtube link below) where psychiartrist Jon Daly describes how childhood attachment injuries (being unvalued) can be used to predict the likelihood of a young adult becoming addicted to substances or behaviours.

Research reveals that in general, addictions are caused not so much from genetics as they are from childhood attachment injuries. A child's normal stress-coping behaviour is to turn toward his care-givers who provide love, comfort and safety based on the fact that they value the child - regardless of what they can 'extract' or gain from him (manipulation, conditional 'love'). In healthy parent/child relationships, the child moves closer to the caring parent and when comforted and protected, the relationship is strengthened. However, in an abusive relationship, the child learns that they have no value to the parent and thus they are unable to expect comfort or protection from the parent. The child out of necessity must learn to rely on him/herself. The child learns that in times of stress, he/she must turn away from personal relationships and rely on self-soothing behaviours. The child learns that it is safer to withdraw from or abandon his/her relationship with abusive parents, but the decision to do so results in the child still requiring support to cope with the additional stresses that lack of support brings. The child’s brain is then set up to respond to stress in an abnormal but necessary way. Instead of turning toward people and gaining emotional support in times of stress, the child learns to turn away from emotional connections and to try to self-soothe in isolation.

When the stress cannot be relieved by communication with caring people and relationships, the child often seeks to escape from unsolvable stress. There is no point mulling over trying to 'talk' with the abusive parent. The child is trapped and there is no solution for the problem as the parent is 'all powerful.' There is no remedy for the pain as the stress can not be removed from the child's situation. The unmanageable, unremitting emotional stress is the basis of addiction. The emotional pain pressures the young adolescent to seek an emotional anaesthetic to numb the pain. Behaviours or substances are often experimented with and those that numb the pain become very important to the user. Some young people become quickly addicted and rely on the behaviour or substance to feel 'normal' because they are able to escape feeling their emotional pain temporarily.

It is said that the opposite of addiction is connection but perhaps it is also the case that affirming connection is preventative of addiction.

Emotional isolation occurs when a person accepts that they are unvalued and it sets up an predictable cycle. The person is unvalued, rejected, disempowered, so then they develop internalised shame and self-hatred, which if often managed by the use of numbing/escaping strategies (behaviours and substances).

Emotional pain from being unvalued is closely related to addiction. The abused person becomes emotionally isolated and seeks stress relief. They begin to try to protect their inner self by wearing an emotional mask. They develop a new but false persona. They will pretend to ‘fit in’ with other people, but emotionally they feel alone, a misfit and emotionally isolated. The injured person believes that no-one really cares and that if others knew the 'real' person, they too would abandon him/her. The injured person feels shame from not being valued. Self-hate takes its grip on the mind but that is intolerable so an escape is sought. Alcohol, nicotine, illicit and prescription drugs, gambling, shopping, porn, prostitution are commonly sort emotional escapes/anaesthetics). 'Empowering' behaviours might also be performed and these can also provide a feeling of 'payback' but these are usually destructive of relationships and perhaps are also physically injurious. (eg use of drugs, porn, serial killers). The injured person then typically feels shame and guilt for their behaviour and the cycle continues.

Isolation, anger, shame, bad/illegal behaviour and secrecy are features that porn addiction excel in preparing for emotionally injured men and more recently, for emotionally injured women. The fact that porn takes sex, which should be done in privacy of two lovingly emotionally connected people only and presents it as if it is public entertainment confuses already traumatised minds. Porn convinces a viewer that while interacting with porn, they are receiving the missing emotional validation they need, but lacked during their abusive childhood. Porn confuses the viewer’s mind tricking it into projecting onto the porn performer the emotional traits that are desperately desired – ‘she wants me,’ ‘she never rejects me,’ she is always there for me,’ ‘she willingly submits to me – makes me feel powerful.’ The viewer makes completely fictitious but seemingly real emotional connections with the porn performers in his/her mind. The viewer logically knows that the porn performer cannot truly be in an emotionally caring, connected loving relationship with the viewer, but the need to have those emotional needs met supersede logical thought. Artificial and pretended relationships and sexual release with fictitious personas mess up/confuses the viewer’s mind. The viewer is emotionally isolated in a physically crowded environment. He projects himself into a porn scene where he connects deeply with a porn performer while in reality he is physically isolated in the solitude of his bathroom or in front of his computer. Cognitive dissonance and emotional confusion occurs.

From Normal to Pornified/Hypersexualised
(the Process)

The Porn Merchants - (aka the Sexual Abuse Industry) - deserve the credit for transforming a normal, but often an emotionally abused/neglected child into a sexual addict/ abuser.

This transformation is achieved through
brainwashing by porn/media that acts as an adrenalin stimulating 'refuge;'
an escape from anxiety, a distraction -
when what the person really needs is comfort.

It relentlessly preaches that sexual abuse is normal sexual behaviour.
The resulting hypersexualisation is disguised as 'having a high libido.'

Commercialised society confirms the lie
that emotionally disconnected sexual activity is normal,
because profit is made from selling sexual abuse.

Young people are robbed of true sexual education.
They are duped by the sexually abusive media.

Sexual abuse is reproduced and practiced by
both males and females who imitate the sexual abuse,
believing it's normal sexual behaviour.

But the brainwashed innocents wonder
"why does it hurt to have sex?";
and why are they emotionally and sexually unsatisfied?;
Why are they are plagued by a deep, recurring fear
of being not loved or valued?

The truth will set them free.

Porn is being exposed.
In all its forms, porn is sexually abusive.

EDSA - Emotionally Disconnected Sexual Activity

Many adults continue searching for the nurturing love they were deprived of in childhood, by demonstrated by their involvement in numerous romantic relationships in life. As humans, we need to know that we have value. In a healthy childhood, our parents convince us of our infinite value to them - just because we are their children. In dysfunctional families, the child is never given a sense of their own value and so embark on a lifelong journey trying to receive their worth from others. Healing takes place when we realise that we have value just for existing and everyone else has equal value too.

Porn merchants proffer the falsity that choosing to bond sexually exclusively with only one special partner, is old-fashioned, unliberated, restrictive, unhealthy and boring. Of course they provide no statistics to support their claim - and of course there are no statistics to support their claim. All the statistics support the opposite premise. People are happier in long-term, sexually exclusive, emotionally bonded, loving, trusting relationships.

Happiness Statistics - Married vs unmarried

MALE SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS OFTEN STRUGGLE WITH SEX ADDICTION By Joe Turner

Males who have suffered sexual abuse as a child, and who currently struggle with sexual compulsion/addiction, will likely find the article written by Joe Turner enlightening. (click the link above)

Reasoning from Cause to Effect

Infants are born with genuine emotional needs that are actually vital for survival.
The child suffers acute and chronic emotional pain when his/her emotional needs are denied and withheld and go unreciprocated.
Unmet emotional needs can cause the death of the child in 37.3% of cases.
Unmet emotional needs cause severe, disabling, crippling emotional pain.
Emotional pain is stressful and can pressure a sufferer to try to find relief from the pain (anaesthetic) and to try to to have the emotional needs for nurturing met.
Emotional pain relief can take the form of anaesthetics or numbing substances and practices such as alcohol, drugs, gambling.

Porn fraudulently offers both kinds of (temporary) relief -

anaesthetic effect (masturbation, ejaculation, the dopamine high); and
a pseudo fulfillment effect (fantasy of having nurturing needs met).

So how did you become trapped by the porn merchants? The following questions might help you examine the steps taken on your pathway.

Questions

Where are you now (in your sexual journey) and how did you get here?
Did you plan to get here?
If you didn't plan to get here, what was the process that took you to a place that you never intended to go?
Were your emotional needs met as a child?
Was your home environment secure and did you feel safe and loved?
Are you happy with your current sexual situation?
Do you believe that the Golden Rule is a good principle to live by? (ie Do unto others as you would like them to do to you).
If, before you could click to view a porn video, you had to upload a video of your own body - naked, your orifices penetrated with objects or other people's body parts and with your face covered in spit and semen, would you upload your video for public view? If not, why not?
If, before you could click to view a porn video, you had to upload a video of your wife/daughter's body - naked, her orifices penetrated with objects or other people's body parts and with her face covered in spit and semen, would you upload your video for public view? If not, why not?
Do you agree that engaging in sexual activity without receiving informed consent from the other person is wrong?
What is the difference between a Peeping-Tom and someone who views strangers' sexual organs and activity on the internet? It's the same activity - you're watching strangers sexual activity and they don't know you're watching them, so why is the former considered illegal, while the second is considered legal. (Because the porn performers have supposedly given consent to let you violate their personal privacy and view their sexual organs).
Do you know that many porn performers have to take drugs and alcohol in order to 'perform' and that many have been abused as children. Is it possible that these women are consenting to be sexually abused?
Do you know that many porn performers are too emotionally wounded to give an informed consent? Did you know that statistics reveal that many female porn performers perform in order to try to receive the sense of value that they failed to receive as children? Does that matter to you? Would that effect the pleasure you receive when viewing her videos?
Is it ethical to pay a woman so you can sexually abuse her?
Is it eithical to pay a woman so you can injure her body?
Is it ethical to pay a woman so you can invade her personal privacy?
Is it ethical to pay a woman so you can purchase female submission?
Why do you think a female porn performer needs to 'emotionall detach' and/or use drugs and alcohol while performing degrading porn scenes?
Do you recognise that porn invades a woman's privacy and destroys her dignity?
If porn performers 'loved having sex on camera' as the porn merchants and traffickers claim, why wouldn't the ladies be lining up to 'do it' for free?
Why isn't prostitution be free if both sides are just so into having the sexual activity? (This is because porn merchants puposely misrespresent female sexual behaviour and female sexual response so that men will not be satisfied with their wives who refuse to perform denegrating or painful sexual acts that men see in porn).
Have you asked porn performers to give you consent to view their sexual organs?
When did you decide that participating in sexual activity without receiving consent from the partner was acceptable - (eg porn)
What is the difference between 'doing porn' and 'doing rape?'
Do you realise that emotionally disconnected sexual activity (EDSA) is abusive to yourself and others?
When did YOU decide that emotionally disconnected sexual activity (EDSA) was acceptable?
Why did YOU decide that emotionally disconnected sexual activity (EDSA) was acceptable? Did the porn merchants convince you?
As a child, did you realise that you were being 'groomed' to be part of the porn merchants' industry?
Why is porn or any other addictive emotionally disconnected sexual activity (EDSA) appealing to you? (The ladies want me (nurturing need). The ladies like sex and I don't have to work to get it (hypersexualised need) .
If you are using porn or other emotionally disconnected sexual activity (EDSA), does it only make you feel 'good" or are there delayed side effects such as guilt, shame, remorse and disgust? Why might you feel guilt, shame, remorse and disgust?
Are you aware that after engaging in emotionally disconnected sexual activity (EDSA), your attitude to the porn performers and to your usual sexual partner changed over time?
Are you aware that many emotionally damaged women, who have never seen normal sexual relations based on love and respect, end up 'doing porn' and prostitution, or being pimped and trafficked?
Do you understand that society has become pornified ie society has been purposely manipulated to believe and accept sexual abuse as normal, sexual behaviour?
Do you know the definition of porn? - an image designed to evoke a sexual response in the viewer
Do you recognise porn when you see it walking down the street, on beaches, in 'family' magazines and in 'family' movies; in posters in the shopping centres, in lingerie catalogues, in churches?
Do you think that you might have a 'very high sex drive' that is impossible to control?
Do you know what hypersexualisaton feels like? Might you be hypersexualised?
How does it make you feel to have your sexuality involuntarily and constantly stimulated by pornified society? Do you feel powerful, in control, or perhaps angry at others for what you experience as 'teasing' you?
Do you feel a constant need to wear attention-grabbing, sexually-provocative clothing? (Attempt to fill an emotional need to be valued).
Do you know what emotional reward you receive when you realise you have caught the attention of an attractive person?
Are you 'advertising what is not for sale?' (You want to receive visual sexual attention, but you don't want to offer physical sexual attention).
What are the rewards you receive when you decide to have emotionally disconnected sexual activity (EDSA) with a person who you would never consider as a life partner? (Infantile unmet emotional need to be valued)
Would you like it if someone was only interested in what they could 'get out of ' you for their own benefit? eg a woman who takes your money and then dumps you; a man who wants to score using your body and then dumps you? soneone who says they just want 'sex' and nothing else - they want to use your sexual parts but they don't want to touch the rest of you, your mind, your heart.
Do you recognise that your emotional wounds had a lot to do with the sexual pathway you have travelled?
Do you think it's too late to learn to be a person of dignity? - (we think you're just in time to become that person)

The Pimp Empire Needs You
(to be emotionally injured so they can take advantage of your pain)

The Pimp Empire - the Porn Pushers - created their empire so they can earn income. In fact the sexual abuse industry is gigantic.

The Pimp Empire built the Sexual Abuse Industry and have designed certain principles which they enforce in order to operate in their economics system. A pornified society operates on the principles of Supply and Demand. Hypersexualised men and women are required for the empire to function. Like any other successful business, Pimp Empire spend their advertising budget on manipulating and controlling the thoughts of the target society, to create a desire for a product/commodity. When they convince the Consumer/Customer that they NEED their product/commodity, then they have a serviceable market. When they 'normalise' the compulsive desire for their product until it becomes an obsession and compulsion and addiction, then, the porn pushers, like their allies the drug pushers, know that an excellent profit is assured.

Typically the males become the source of the demand while the females are the source of the supply.

The economic system depends on the wide-scale acceptance of a lie - that the hypersexualised state is a healthy, normal condition. That a hypersexualised condition is normal is the biggest lie forced onto unsuspecting populations, but it is what makes the money continue to flood into the sexual abuse industry's bulging accounts. If we think it's normal to sexually abuse others, then what reason is there to stop abusing them? If we believe that if a woman 'consents' to the sexual abuse of her body and mind, does that 'consent' make the abuse acceptable? Is abuse justifiable if the woman accepts money? The porn merchants insist that it's not abusive as both parties received something positive from the exchange, but that's not true.

When you abuse someone, it doesn't stop it hurting just because you receive money or because someone gives 'consent' to be abused. Hiring a woman's body, or a man's body or a child's body is sexual abuse. Humans are not toys or machines and they all need intimate privacy and dignity of knowing they are unique and special and worthy of love and respect. Men and women are worthy of experiencing the depth of being loved and not exploited, although the self-serving narcissist will argue against this fact. (The actual chemistry of sex emphasises this truth. Refer to Dr Tim Jenning's video here:  www.mindrewind.vip/what-is-sex.html

If you don't know how you got stuck into the sexual abuse crevasse, you have company. Many serial sexual murderers such as Peter Solley, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer and Aileen Wuornos have also asked the same question or answered the question, "How did you get here?" with "I don't know." (Refer to videos below)

Just like a person who has been hypnotised and is blamed for doing a crime under hypnosis (refer to Derren Brown's video - The Heist www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDtMMsFoHuY )so too are most of society's members who are trapped in porn and prostitution. They have been hypnotised, cultified by the Porn Merchants, but don't understand that they have been manipulated. They think they have 'high libido' and that they are just oversexed. Some are even angry at God for making them with high libidos that cause them so much anguish. Because they think they are suffering from a problematic but 'natural' sexual condition, they don't think there is a solution. Not understanding that they are hypersexualised is why they still can't break free.

As a member of our pornified society, you are part of a well thought out plan. You have been subtly programmed to progress along the designated path in the Sexual Abuse Industry.

The False Consensus Effect

The False Consensus Effect occurs when individuals overestimate the numbers of other people who they believe share similar behaviours, habits, opinions and beliefs. People will typically believe that what they believe is 'normal' and that there are actually more people who agree with their belief system/behaviours than is in fact, the reality (False Consensus Effect, 2015 https://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/social-cognition/false-consensus-effect). For example, research has linked the practices of smoking and alcohol consumption to the development of various diseases such as lung cancer and alcoholism. Despite these scientific results, researchers who investigated the False Consensus Effect concluded that an individual who smokes, will believe that smoking is more common than will a non-smoker, when in reality, non smoking is more common throughout the population (Suls, J. Wan, C. K. Sanders, G. S. State University of New York at Albany. False Consensus and False Uniqueness in Estimating the Prevalence of Health-Protective Behaviors. 1988).

Additionally, when confronted with evidence that a consensus does not exist, people often assume that those who do not agree with them are defective in some way. (Dean, Jeremy (2007). "Why We All Stink as Intuitive Psychologists: The False Consensus Bias". PsyBlog. Retrieved 2007-11-13). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_consensus_effect

In the genre of porn, the false consensus effect can be seen when porn users believe that porn usage is a normal, constructive part of sexual behaviour and that 'everybody does porn.' In reality, the evidence demonstrates the opposite to be true.

Porn is:

addictive;
not a part of normal sexuality;
induces sexual malfunctions (erectile dysfunction, delayed or inability to orgasm);
causes actual harm (research and law enforcement statistics prove this to be incontestable fact https://youtu.be/iC_0fZvLv7E);
contributes to the destruction of intimate relationships and marriages and is cited to be a contributing factor in divorce in over 60% of cases)
contributes to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety

By Beholding We Become Changed

Dr Tim Jennings describes the scientific process by which our beliefs change our physiology and behaviour.

Find out where you are currently on the Progressive Scale of Porn.

The Progression of Porn
Increasingly Demeaning & Violent
Voyeur – Mind Conditioned to Anchor Sexual Arousal to Sexually Abusive Images (Practising, mental rehearsal for future interactions with others)
Free
‘Soft’ Porn
‘Hard Porn’
Multiple Partners
‘BDSM’
A multiplicity of other derogatory porn genres
Paid
Child
Animal
Torture
Snuff
Participant - Performing ‘Illegal’ Sexual Abuse on Others*
Prostitution
Paedophilia
Rape
Sexual Murder
Sexual Trafficking
Creating Porn for Sale
Homicide and Suicide
* All sexual abuse is illegal under the government of Love, but all sexually abusive behaviour is not recognised as illegal by a pornified society’s legislative authorities.

Attachment Injuries Set Us Up for Addiction

You were likely wounded through being not valued, rejected, neglected in an intimate relationship, often the mother/child or father/child relationship. Many times you are not even aware of the wound because being wounded feels normal. Porn pushers offer an analgesic to your emotional pain and you are deceived into believing that you are making an intimate connection when you are 'using' porn ie sexually abusing a female. Suddenly you feel desired, valued and powerful and the anaesthetic anchors your sexual response to porn images or prostitutes or to articles of clothing or places or actions. As a newly hatched duckling attaches to and compulsively follows the first moving thing it sees - usually its mother, so too human beings attach or bond under the influence of strong hormones that are released during sexual activity. In many cases where attachment injuries exist, people become 'cross-dressers,' or they have an attachment to particular items of clothing or shoes or to other men, or that they enjoy hurting another person or being hurt by another person etc. They believe that they are just 'kinky' or have different sexual tastes to most people. Women can respond to attachment injury by allowing themselves to be used as a masturbation tool as they respond to the porn pushers pressure to please the 'man.'

We can help you get free if you want to contact us. (This is a free service)

The Jeffrey Dahmer Documentary - Audio
Good information on how serious sexual abuse disorders progress.

I Love Lucy - Charm School should have been titled "Predatory School" as it trained women to use their bodies as a weapon in order to manipulate men.

Pornification in the 1950s - Groucho Marx pornifies an 11 year old girl under the guise of laughter. He asks her if she has a boyfriend and she answers, "No. I'm only 11 years old." Still Marx persists in continuing to insist that she'll be wanting a boyfriend by the time she grows up - at 11 1/2. This scene takes place at about 5 mins into the video. The start of the video begins with a scantily clad woman walking onto the stage and Marx 'collapses' with sexual desire onto the floor when he first sees her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue2aARtH-a8
Warning: provocatively dressed females, who perhaps don't understand the full extent of their role in creating a pornified society.

High school boys have already learnt that they are entitled to use females as sexual reposits for male bodily fluids.

Excellent information that reveals that lack of love results in homocide and suicide.

Edmund Kemper speaks about why he raped and murdered several woman and then killed his mother and grandmother because the emotional pain he was constantly in due to their lack of nurturing. Murder is obviously not condoned, but it is interesting to see the connection that Kemper makes between emotional pain and attachment injuries.

Edmund Kemper describes how he killed women as substitutes for killing his mother. At 9 minutes into the video, Kemper states how he always felt overpowered by woman when he was a child. He said of his mother, "She was opening a lot of wound and she liked to see me twitch. There was a lot of sadism in her too and I hated her for that because she was the one person in the world who could push every button I had because she knew where they all were."

Hours before his death, Ted Bundy, serial sexual murderer confessed to Dr James Dobson that he doesn't understand why he took the path he did, but that pornography played a focused role in his criminal choices.

Joel Rifkin serial sexual murderer - Murdered 17 women. "I will never understand the part of me that caused me to do these dreadful things to your children and I'll go to my death never knowing why I did them.... You will all think I'm nothing but a monster and you are right. Part of me must be.... The honest answer is, 'I don't know if I'd ever kill again. I might." 39:45 mins (Sentenced to 200 years in prison).

Tara Brown interviews murderer and pedophile Peter Sculley who confesses that is does not know how he came to be a child molester and child murderer. "What I'm looking for is the real reason why I took that road. and what drove me to it, because in Australia I wasn't like that and in the first 6 to 12 months here, (in the Philippines) I wasn't like that. So what drove me that way?" (7-8 mins). We don't condone the pedophilia or sexual assault, rape or murder that Peter Sculley committed however, his crimes were not committed because he is a monster, but because of his decisions. It is likely that Peter Sculley was also a victim of sub-conscious conditioning of our pornified society which makes it difficult to realise that a person is already well down the path to perversion while still believing they are normal.

The Porn Merchants will take you where you don't want to go and keep you there for longer than you ever expected.

Jeffrey Dahmer became a Christian when in prison, but was then murdered by an inmate.

"Jeffrey Dahmer was on a futile search for a passive, compliant, non-demanding sexual partner who wouldn't leave him and he tried every maladaptive strategy imaginable to achieve that.... The one thing he never learned how to do is to find a consenting partner who liked the same things he did." Parks Dietz, forensic psychiatrist (3:52 mins at the start of the video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0jbD0-wnIY (video has been removed from Youtube).

A passive, compliant, non-demanding sexual partner who won't leave, reject or abandon him. These are exactly the 'qualities' that porn merchants convince their customers to seek.

Joseph James DeAngelo Jr. is an American serial killer, serial rapist, burglar, and former police officer who committed at least 13 murders, more than 50 violent rapes, and over 120 burglaries in California between 1974 and 1986.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_State_Killer
DeAngelo witnessed his father beating his mother regularly. His mother divorced his father in his teenage years. As a 10 year old boy, DeAngelo was forced to witness the rape of his 7 year old younger sister by two airforce men. The rape was never prosecuted and when the children reported the rapes to the parents, they children were instructed never to mention the rapes again. The psychological effect of the invalidation of the rapes would likely have created a huge resentment against authority figures. As a 10 year old boy, DeAngelo would have experienced emotional turmoil and trauma from witnessing the beatings of his mother by his father, who was also in the airforce. So the example of 3 uniformed men being violent to women might have been a significant factor in DeAngelo's decision to become a uniformed man himself, as he became an airforce officer and a police officer. The fact that the rape of his sister was not acknowledged or addressed might also have contributed to his psychological condition where he believed that he too would not be held accountable for raping other women. DeAngelo also perceived that he was constantly persecuted by a male school teacher when ordered to write hundreds of lines for speaking in class. Was DeAngelo speaking as a way to try to destress from the violence at home and for the complex trauma he was forced to suffer? If instead of writing endless lines as punishment was exchanged for empathetic listening and social services assistance, the outcome might have been very different for DeAngelo and his victims. The fact that DeAngelo also bitterly resented being 'dumped' - rejected as being unloveable and without value - by his former fiancee in favour of her marriage to another very successful man, might also have contributed to DeAngelo's criminal activity.
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/marriage/accused-serial-killers-sick-words-as-he-raped-women/news-story/681701cb27217e28eb69a0928b4ad187

and

https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/marriage/accused-serial-killers-sick-words-as-he-raped-women/news-story/681701cb27217e28eb69a0928b4ad187

DeAngelo was raised in a chaotic, dysfunctional family and he witnessed violence used by powerful men against women whom he cared about. That violence was forced on him as being 'normal' as nothing was ever done to penalise the perpetrators. No doubt DeAngelo witness horrific violence also when he served in Viet Naum. The violence of the war was condoned and encouraged by government authorities. There was no penalty for killing, but commendations for the violence. After the rejection of his fiancee, it appears that DeAngelo combined all his hatreds against women.

DeAngelo committed heinous crimes that he knew were illegal. He could have chosen to seek counselling, which he did after one offence, but he did not continue seeking help as he feared the legal consequences.

How much safer our society would be if we ensured that children were loved! Healthy parents show love to their children by providing them opportunities to share their emotional pain, which when it is expressed, is validated.

For those children who are denied a loving childhood and who as adults have formed abberant and destructive patterns of escaping the emotional pain, there might be yet a chance to heal. True justice would provide and restore opportunities that were denied to the criminals in their childhood. True justice would provide criminals with opportunities to understand how they were wounded. They would be taught to recognise their triggers and given knowledge of how to meet their emotional needs through forming healthy relationships based on trust, respect and empathy. True justice would be based on the intention of rehabilitation. If the prisoner wishes to take advantage of the opportunity and learn about their injuries, to develop emotionally and learn to trust others, then even if they have been classified as 'never to be released,' they might still find some happiness while serving their time in prison.

The pain of being unloved is the biggest trigger of all.
How fitting it is to know that, if no-one else in the world loves us, that the Creator shows us that we are loved indeed.
www.doublemindedgod.com/

Double Minded God

Todd Kohlepp asked to speak to his mother before confessing to killing 4 people. He wanted to show respect to his mother as she was always so loyal to him. This demonstrates the strength of the secure attachment bond between them. A desire to feel powerful over others motivated the murders and also the enslavement for 2 months of a young woman who was locked and chained up in a shipping container. The grasping of power by subduing and denigrating others is a strong theme in pornography.

Hypnotism can occur without the person's knowledge. A person can act in a way they consider to be 'natural' while actually performing the actions predesigned for them by a manipulator. Pornified society manipulates its members to become hypersexualised, but the members believe that their hypersexualised state is normal, or that they are oversexed, or that they have a naturally high libido. They do not understand that they have been artificially sexually-stimulated, purposely hyper-aroused and that their thinking has been unconsciously manipulated and programmed.

In a very short period of time, Derren Brown used subliminal mind control techniques to cause 3 upstanding, honest citizens (both male and female) to commit armed robbery. In another demonstration, called the Assassin, Derren Brown again used subliminal mind control techniques to cause a psychologically normal man to commit what he believed was murder (with an actor playing the part of the murder victim). www.youtube.com/watch?v=owootTAuxic

Why do women choose to go into the sexual abuse industry? They are already groomed by pornified society.
fightthenewdrug.org/what-causes-people-to-choose-to-go-into-the-porn-industry/?fbclid=IwAR0Tx00CJDALVvIAwNvEW3l35haEXdfa_qv1DSUhshWxvHhOuCusFUZbMZ8

The Science Behind the Pull to the Sexual Abuse Industry

The article below is an excellent article written in scientific language by scientists in psychology and psychiatry.
The Authors are:
Mark F. Schwartz, SC.D.
Lori D. Galperin, L.C.S.W.
William H. Masters, M.D.
Co-Directors: Masters and Johnson Sexual Trauma, Compulsivity and Dissociative Disorders Program

The title is POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS, SEXUAL TRAUMA AND DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER: ISSUES RELATED TO INTIMACY AND SEXUALITY. The auuthors describe the dyfunctional development of mental/emotionally responses in a child when love is withheld and when trauma, especially sexual trauma is inflicted.

Love provides safety but when love is absent, fear results. Trauma induces fear and when that trauma has been anchored to sexual abuse, neglect or abandonment, the developing mind is devastated. Many trauma responses can be seen mirrored in the psychology of prostitutes and porn performers. (To read the article, click on the link below or visit this link to read it on-line https://www.ojp.gov/pdffiles1/Photocopy/153416NCJRS.pdf).